Archive for category Seasonal

‘Twas the week before Christmas
And all ‘cross the Web
Not a present was purchased
Except a Chia Head

It’s that time of year! No, not the time for tinsel, mistletoe and It’s a Wonderful Life – that’s next week. Right now it’s time for freaking out because you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping yet!

So with that in mind, The Marion Group would like to give you some ideas of what not to buy in your frenzied dash through the mall this weekend. Here are the top ten worst Christmas gifts you can give or receive, as recounted by real, live Marion employees:

1. Sheryl Sargent – Marketing Writer

The Date: Christmas 1996.
Am I most likely wrong about the date? Yes.
The worst gift of ALL TIME EVER would be ground raccoon (yes, you read that correctly) that my family and I received, nicely wrapped in newspaper with a bow on it. Seriously, a bow was on it….
As if the gift wasn’t already beautiful enough, it came with a heart-felt anecdote of how the gift-giver acquired the raccoon meat. He hit it with his truck, processed it himself and thought it would make a wonderful stocking stuffer or maybe a nice alternative to our traditional Christmas meal. Oh, and it came with a few family recipes. Thank goodness, because my mom and I were standing there asking ourselves, “Oh gee, what are we going to do with this raccoon?”
Needless to say, we kept the bow.

2. Eric Wargo - Web Developer

Last year I received a football-shaped mouse pad, complete with built-in clock!
I used to get so stressed from working every day on a computer from 1982 with no onscreen clock that I’d inevitably forget what a football is shaped like. Now all my problems are solved!

3. Robbie Stevens – Marketing Writer, Social Media Specialist

When I was about 12, I went on a trip to Niagara Falls. While in the gift shop, I realized I didn’t have a Christmas gift to give my dad when I got back home! Scouring the gift shop, all I could find was overpriced junk until I finally found the one item a 12 year old could afford – souvenir nail clippers! “Hey, my dad clips his nails! This is perfect,” I rationalized.
20 years later, the nail clippers are still around - except there is one little twist.
Before heading off to college, I was buying or “borrowing” everything I’d need to live away from home for the first time. And what did my dad contribute to the cause? One pristine, unused set of Niagara Falls nail clippers.

4. Lynton Ellisor – Controller/Partner

One year a lady in our office bought a nice makeup set to give to her co-worker as a Secret Santa gift. The next year, that co-worker drew the first woman’s name and – without realizing it – re-gifted it back to her. When all was said and done, we had a good laugh about it around the water cooler. (Although we never told the co-worker that she was busted!)

5. Rodney Glawson - Senior Designer (and apparently, A Christmas Story re-enactor)

When I was 8, my dad got me a BB gun. Sweet, huh? How could an 8-year-old boy possibly consider a BB gun to be the worst gift ever?
The best Christmas gift EVER instantly changed me into a slump-shouldered, teary-eyed tyke when the “unloaded” gun accidentally discharged and hit Dad in the leg as I was doing my best John Wayne impression in the living room. Thankfully there was only a nasty bruise and temporary cease-fire, and before sunset I was outside defending freedom against invading squirrels and Coke cans.

6. Jessica Neely – Writing and Marketing Specialist

My mother-in-law gave me a sweater that looks like the Chick-Fil-A cow. Enough said.

7. Jay Ferranti – Web Programmer/Designer

People think that since I have two cats, I must therefore want cat tchotchkes and/or kitten calendars all over my house. I am not Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter! My worst gift ever must be a nine-way tie of cat paraphernalia given to me over the years. But I’m guessing on that number, and probably underestimating.

8. Lynton Ellisor – Controller/Partner

There was a guy in our office who I thought definitely could use a nose hair trimmer for Christmas, so I gave him one. Oddly enough, it was kinda awkward and not very well received.
The next year, I drew his name again. For some reason I had forgotten the previous year’s gift and ended up giving him the same thing. The way I found out is when he replied “You gave me this last year.”
Not sure who should have been more embarrassed, him or me…

9. Kristy Krause – Office Assistant

When I was 12 or 13 my aunt gave me a boxed set of soap.  I wasn’t too impressed at the time, but… actually I’m still not impressed!

10. Jeff Mysak – Account Representative

The worst gift I ever got was some bubble gum. The day before Christmas I must have had a garlicky meal because Santa left me some gum to freshen up. But the worst part was that three pieces were missing! My family members had some while wrapping presents – I guess they had been eating garlic too.

What’s the worst Christmas present you’ve ever given or received?
Let us know in the comments below!